My first mistake was not working out today. I really meant to but I got side tracked with other stuff and before I knew it, it was to late.
The second mistake was that I ate junk food. I was caught in a moment a weakness and I ate a doughnut and some chocolate candies. As soon as I ate it I knew it was wrong. I wished I didn't.
This house is filled with so much junk food, temptation hits me in the face every time I walk in the kitchen. Really I don't know how I'm going to get past this. I live with four other people. I can't talk them all (if any) into eating healthy!
I have mixed feelings about admitting this. I feel good to get it out in the open. But I feel bad about what some people might think of me. I don't shove my face with food every chance I get. I'm not addicted to food, I just make really bad choices. I was bullied in school every time I would eat something during lunch the other kids would call me names and tell me that I didn't need to eat anything because I was too fat. It got so bad that I stopped sitting at my own lunch table and took refuge at my friends lunch table (we were suppose to sit by class). When I transferred schools and didn't have the comfort of my friend I just stopped eating lunch all together. The bullies had done damage. To this day I don't like to eat in public. That's why admitting this isn't easy for me.
By the way I am typing this at 4am so when I talk about today I mean Friday the 13th. I must of been doomed for failure. Anyway I need sleep I have to get up in a few hours hopefully
One of my tips earlier in the month was not to give up when you fall down - It seems simple but this proves my point - just because you did that yesterday doesn't mean all your other work doesn't count. You're still doing really well! you shouldn't feel bad about one 'mistake' your entitled to eat whatever you want - its just about control. You ate that yesterday and Today you won't - if anything that proves how strong you are. That's the right decision, so you've not done anything to feel guilty about
ReplyDeleteHey Nicole, Don't beat yourself up over this. We are all human and therefore not perfect. You are going to struggle and have "bad" days. It happens to the best of us. I know how hard this journey is, as does mostly everyone else who reads your blog. Just get up, dust yourself off and start a new day. That's all you can do. We're here to support, not judge you. Don't ever be ashamed of being human:) You get back up and go girl! You can do this:)
ReplyDeleteNicole give yourself a hug. It takes a lot to admit what happened. But like Leigh said, no need to beat yourself up about it. Tomorrow is a new day, we all eff up sometimes but as long as we learned the lesson we can move forward.
ReplyDeleteStay strong,
We all have set backs. In fact the entire month of November was a set back for me. What is key is that we don't give up.
ReplyDeleteTry not to go cold turkey on junk food. I know that's the complete opposite of what we are told to do. Instead focus on making a few small changes at a time. It will make the transition much easier in the long run. Here is what I'm doing:
The very first thing I changed was getting up and going to the gym. I still ate the same junk, but I wanted to get a gym schedule together and focus on going. Once I conquered that, I started focusing on what I was eating.
My second small change was cutting out all the soda I was drinking. I did a month long self-challenge in October called No Soda October. I did pretty damn well. I still drank a few. But I went from drinking soda all day to having one or two a week.
Right now I'm working on limited the "junk", I'm not eating out as much. I'm not snacking on processed junk food. But I'm not there yet. In fact I had McDonald's today for lunch. But that's ok. I love McDonald's and I don't plan on going the rest of my life without having it. But instead of eating it 4 times a week, I want to get down to eating it once or twice a month.
Trying to conquer everything at once is too daunting a task, for everyone. And that's why we tend to fail, it becomes too hard, we get stressed and we turn to the one thing that brings us comfort, FOOD!
Food is not the enemy. We just need to change our relationship with it. Weight loss will only be part of the journey. Once you get to your goal it doesn't stop there. This is the rest of you life. You can do this, make one small change at a time. Don't waste your 20's like I did.
Thank you all for the comments. They're very helpful and mean a lot me!!
ReplyDeleteMeg, I understand completely what you're going through. Highschool was brutal. I used to wear black all the time to hide my size then get made fun of for being 'emo'. It was just a had time. But you know what? I survived! And now I'm taking time for myself and getting on track. YOU CAN DO THIS!? You made a mistake...so what? We all make mistakes! And we're stronger for them. Keep going girl, it'll be fine
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